- "Energetically will I meet the enemies of my country. I shall defeat them on the field of battle, for I am better trained and will fight with all my might. Surrender is not a Ranger word. I will never leave a comrade to fall into the hands of the enemy, and under no circumstances will I ever embarrass my country.
- "Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor." - The Ranger Creed
The road back after war is long, let me tell you. I don't know that you ever find the person that you once were. You get pretty damn close, but you cannot reclaim lost innocence.
I've discovered that there are four phases on the road back to life after war. First, you have to recognize the challenge. Then you have to decide to fix it. And trust me, that is a conscious decision. Then you have to find your new strengths. Finally you need to figure out the code you are going to live by.
Why exactly do you need this? Because it's the little, unexpected things that will throw you off, even after you get home. Why is it so easy to live by these ideals when we are in the military, but stop using them when we get out? Most of the firefights were really ambushes. I know mine were. I heard contact, six o'clock a hell of a lot more than I hear contact twelve o'clock. So what do you do? You revert to your training. You rely on battle drills and you fight.
So here's what happened to me last night. I'm sitting in my car at a stoplight, three little bulldogs and the wife in tow. It's dark out and we are headed home after dinner out at Buffalo Wild Wings (my kids love that place). I'm at a stoplight in our little town, and suddenly there's a bright instant flash from my five o'clock. I instinctively duck. It's eerily similar to the flash of an RPG. My heart starts to race and even though it's been five years since I've been home I want to reach for my M4 and get out of the vehicle. My instinct is pushing me to get out and find cover. My heart started to race.The adrenaline started to flow. And that made my anxiety kick in. Even though I knew I was home, my body was telling me I was in danger.
It took thirty minutes to get it fully under control. I didn't even need a beer. That's a first for me.
You know what caused this? The wonderful city council in my small community decided to put camera's up at a couple of intersections. They have a huge flash on them that sits about 20 meters behind you. When someone runs the light, it goes off. Uh, not a good idea for a combat vet. Guess which light I'll be avoiding in the future?
Remember, it's the little things that throw you off the most on the road back.
In the Army, I always relied on the Ranger Creed. As a warrior ,you live your life by certain ideals and
codes. The Ranger Creed and the
Navy SEAL Code are guides that provide our warriors principles to live, and in
some cases, die by. But what
happens when we get home? What
happens when we take our uniform off?
We may never wear it again but that doesn’t mean we have left the war
behind. We still need principles
and ideals to guide our lives, even when we are no longer serving.
Dealing with combat stress, and its worst form, PTSD, is a lot like the last stanza of the Ranger Creed. In some ways, you will always feel like the lone survivor. I will always feel like there's another objective to fight. The combat never dies in your heart or soul. It is forever burned there. Can I ever really complete this mission?
The answer is yes, but the road back is different for each of us. And always remember, "Readily will I display the intestinal fortitude required to fight on to the Ranger objective and complete the mission though I be the lone survivor." RLTW.